OPEN YOUR BLINDS SO YOU CAN SEE

Outside your window, I can see shadows move throughout your room, can’t stop thinking about you, it’s starting to rain and I’m filled up with sadness and pain, thinking that we broke up way too soon, thinking about the last thing you said to me, “If it was meant to be, then it will be, but for now you and me just ought to be free”;
It’s been two days and it feels like an eternity;
I’m wet, cold and my teeth are making loud clicking noises from the chatter;
Why do I obsess over you?
All the things we’ve been through, why should it even matter?
I don’t understand, why I stand out here like a fool? I don’t get it, I’m feeling vulnerable, I'm feeling the pain of loosing you, I’m tired and I know you see me standing out here, and that ain't even cool;
People are walking by and I’m trying so hard not to look so conspicuous;
But deep down, I really don’t care what they think; I’ve been standing out here for two days hours at a time, and yes it’s raining hard and yes it does look ridiculous;
Who are they to criticize?
They don’t know me, and they certainly don’t know the sounds of my cry;
If they only knew the weight I feel standing here in the dark;
They would just walk away and leave me alone, because I can honestly say, I am the owner of a lonely heart;
Please try to find a way to forgive me, for the life of me I just couldn’t see, please give me a sign so that you know I’m standing right here, peak through your blinds so I can find the forgiveness in your eyes;
I’ve had this time to think about the reasons you said, “Goodbye”;
I know, you told me at the very start, not to hurt you and play games with your heart;
I know, your love for me has changed and you want to be apart;
It’s so true, when you take things for granted and throw it away, “you don’t know what you got until it’s gone”, I should have been all in with your love, I should have made my move strong and hard;
But like a fool, played a different game, estranged in a game of cards;
Tried to get lucky using a different deck, sat at a different table expecting different results, what the heck;
Now, I’m standing in the rain with a game over, out of the room position, my face is down and labeled an unwanted discarded joker;
One track minded, thinking only of myself and guided by the feel good senses in the pleasures of poker;
Thought I was sitting high with a ten and had the nerve of a straight face, thought I was the man with hearts in the palm of my hand with my ass on her couch;
I was only playing myself, playing a game against a queen sitting easy with a diamond smile in a full house;
My love for you no game, I must be insane to make such a terrible mistake;
To be without you too difficult to realize,
Sorry, I didn’t hear you, what did you say?
(Sing) “IT’S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE, IT’S TOO LATE”
No baby no, this feeling inside me hurts to the core, my heart was crushed the moment you sent me walking out your door;
Why, why, did I ever take a chance in chasing that dead beat hand? I see clearly now, I was looking to release in that feel good sense in me, this thing I must ignore;
This part difficult to see and hard to understand;
Please come back to me so we can start again with a new plan;
I know it’s easier to forgive than it is to forget, and you have the right to a new deal, just wanted you to know, never again will I gamble with your love, open your blinds so you can see me, I’m a different man
Troy Balkum©
Written 04/23/2008